Children of today become citizens of tomorrow. Good parents know that with a hearty emphasis on academics, their children will pass tests in school. But how will they pass the tests of life? Overwhelming research suggest that this quest is enriched with the skills of emotional and social intelligence. (See resources)In his groundbreaking 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence, psychologist Daniel Goleman wrote 'Family life is our first school for emotional learning.' This means that parents are the first teachers. Many parents however are unfamiliar with this subject and more specifically, do not realize that there are actual steps they can take to teach the skills to their children (and perhaps themselves). Emotional Intelligence can be learned and integrated as a life long skill! As a certified parent coach, this is where I hope to help. The results can be awe-inspiring.
WHAT ARE EMOTIONAL & SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE?
Emotional intelligence (EI) is self-awareness utilized for optimal self-management. This includes the ability to recognize emotions, discover personal strengths to manage them effectively, and utilizing those strengths to problem solve toward the best outcomes.
Social intelligence (SI) is social-awareness utilized for powerful social skills and healthy relationships with family, friends, and community members. This includes optimizing communication, cooperation, and conflict resolution.
Everyone possesses these skills in varying degrees. What is important is how often, and how effectively you use them. Are you and your children creating the cheerful life and positive outcomes you desire? Wherever you are, a coach can help to take you to the next level. If you are committed to working hard to gain progress for yourself and your family, contact Keyuri for a complementary consultation.
THE BENEFITS OF EI AND SI
As a parent you have likely observed the innocence of childhood being challenged earlier and more forcefully with each passing year. Our precious ones are exposed to violence, promiscuity, bullying, and peer and performance pressure through the loosening values of media and culture. Until we figure our how to eliminate these offenders, we must empower our children with the inner resilience to recognize, cope with, and conquer them. Many experts are urging parents to do more than be well intentioned, warm and loving. Research has shown that teaching kids the skills of EI and SI helps remarkably in their ability to problem solve their way toward cheerful, productive, and ethical lives.
In his book Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, researcher John Gottman writes, 'children who are emotion coached by their parents are on a completely different developmental trajectory than children of other parents.
Based on the research and books of Elias, Friedlander, Goleman, Gottman, Healy, Lantieri, Tobias, and Zins (see resources) here are some of the benefits that emotion coaching can bring to children:
Attitude and Behavior Benefits**
- Better awareness of emotions (both self and others)
- Better able to self soothe and regulate emotions
- Better at handling difficult social situations (such as bullying) more effectively
- Improved focus
- Healthier friendships
- Better conflict resolution
- Better impulse control
- Improved values and ethical attitudes
- Improved problem solving abilities
- Decreased aggression and violence
- Increased confidence
- Increased empathy
- Improved attitude to learning
- Better grades in school
- Better performance on standardized tests
- Increased effort to achieve
- Improved coping of school stressors
- More trust and respect for teachers
Health Benefits **
- Better able to calm heart rate faster
- Lower incidence of infectious illnesses
- Lower incidence of alcohol, drug and tobacco use
- Lower incidence of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy
- Lower incidence of depression and suicide
** It is important to note that emotional and social intelligence skills will not eliminate the challenges of raising children. Kids will be kids and age appropriate trials and tribulations will likely provoke parents with some regularity. A parent's ability to emotion coach their child is a powerful tool that can strengthen the journey.
Working with a certified coach can help parents in their day to day job of dealing with normal developmental challenges as well as to build an emotionally and socially intelligent citizen (and family) who is equipped with a powerful toolbox to live an authentically happy and successful life. Contact Keyuri for a complimentary consultation.