You the reader are a good parent. The fact that you took the time to click on and read this segment tells me that you have a curiosity to learn more about parenting. If you are open to tweaking, enriching, or even rebuilding your strengths and strategies, then, congratulations, you have passed the first test of being “coachable”.
Imagine you were competing in the Olympics in the category of Best Parent. Would “good” be good enough to win gold, silver or even bronze? Not a chance! If you wanted to be an Olympic winner, you wouldn’t settle for good, you would pursue being the absolute best. You would do anything conceivable to improve your parenting strengths. You would practice every day and have a coach feed your motivation and hold you accountable to achieve results.
A parenting coach is very much like an Olympic personal trainer who builds your parenting strengths and holds you accountable to do what you promise to do, so that your parenting goals are attained with wild success not to mention the endorsements. No… Nike and Coke are not going to pay you!! I’m talking about the endorsements you get from family, friends, teachers and community members who highly value children who have turned out academically, emotionally, and socially successful because of outstanding parenting. A parenting coach can actually help parents to apply very specific research proven skills that help children to grow up authentically successful and happy because of whom they are as opposed to what they have.
Every parent is different. Values, priorities, and family dynamics vary. Parent coaching takes this into account and creates plans of actions that are personalized just for you.
Most parents say they would do anything for their kids. Where would you begin? What would be the cost of not beginning?
Perhaps you find yourself turning into your mother or father and not only exercising their good parenting techniques, but the ones you swore you would “never” do to your kids. How will you recognize and break those patterns?
Many parents read “how to” books and attend seminars that tell them what they “should” be doing for their kids. Turning this advice in to a successful plan of action can challenge even creative parents who aren’t sure how to make strategies work for each of their unique children. To complicate matters, parents find it difficult to be consistent and frequently “fall off the wagon” giving up their efforts as well as their desired result.
Divorced parents and even married ones whose styles and priorities immensely differ often find that coaching will provide solutions for cooperative success.
Some parents find that if they just have some time to take care of themselves and squeeze in some of their own fun, that they can care better for their family. This is exceedingly important! It’s no wonder that airline flight attendants tell parents to put their own oxygen air mask on first, and then assist their child. If you are struggling to breathe, how on earth will you be able to help your kids? Not only does coaching give you permission to take time for yourself, it will actually help you devise a plan of action and hold you accountable to achieve it every single week. Time for yourself will also help you manage stress and create work / life balance. Your newfound peace of mind is essential in creating the family life of your dreams.The above examples may or may not be your priority. Whatever your goals are, a Certified Coach, trained by an accredited school, and following a strict code of ethics mandated by the International Coach Federation will help.
What have you got to lose? You are a good parent who has everything it takes to be a winner. Like Nike says, “Just Do It”.
by Patricia Weber, on September 21 2010 @ 4:18 am
Keyuri, with my young children days behind my (my son is 37) I can hear my own voice saying some of what you are pointing out here: having parenting goals and swearing I won’t be like one of my parents in the negative aspects.
What remains true for me as an older baby boomer, I have similar thoughts and feelings as I see my parents near their end of life: I have parenting goals for my parents and I am avoiding bringing those negative aspects into the sandwich relationship.
Maybe it is because I have had several coaches for various reasons over the years. Maybe it’s because I am a coach.
Thanks for the valuable information.
by on the ball parent coach, on September 21 2010 @ 4:30 am
Patricia, You are a great testament to the power of coaching as you successfull keep the peace with older and younger generations! Kudos and thank you for your comment.
by Catarina Alexon, on September 21 2010 @ 7:39 am
Keyuri I believe that for parents to get coached the way you suggest. In particular if they live close to where you live. All parents should aim for winning an olympic gold medal. If not they should refrain from having children.
by Sherryl Perry, on September 21 2010 @ 8:16 am
Having a parenting coach available when I was raising my children would have been a wonderful resource. I remember those hectic days when I was juggling a full-time job, and had 2 small children in school and after school day care. There were times, I really felt that I was about to lose my mind. I often share your blog posts on my Facebook page as a way to inspire some of my FB friends.You are a wonderful resource.
by Julia M Lindsey, on September 21 2010 @ 8:25 am
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do. No matter how many books you read you will never be ready to be a parent. A parenting coach could bring that outside view that we all need. It is hard to be objective when it is your own child. Consistently is so hard when your are tired the kids are whinny or maybe they have delays.
As an Occupational Therapist I have worked with many parents that are raising children with developmental delays. I think I gave good advice to many of them but when it came to my own children it was hard to see what I was doing. I think a parenting coach can help you see what you are doing right and what you need to change.
I never wanted to parent like my mother but when I became a parent I could see how hard it was and those patterns were hard to break. Thank goodness we all lived through it. I hope to be a great grandparent. I think we will need classes too!
by Julie Weishaar, on September 21 2010 @ 3:14 pm
I agree with Julia – parenting is the hardest job on earth and no amount of training will ever prepare us. We swear we won’t make the same mistakes our parents did and some of us don’t – we just make different mistakes. I remember when my youngest was born (the total opposite of her sister) we read and followed the Ferber method of getting her to go to sleep. If I recall (it was a long time ago), we were to let her SCREAM for a little longer each night and eventually she would learn to sleep through the night. So we tried it. The first night she SCREAMED for a while and then would start to fall asleep so there would be a brief moment of silence in which we fell asleep again. I would assume (as I was in my bed) that when she started to lose her balance when she fell asleep – it would wake her up and she started to SCREAM again. We tried this for three nights. Not sure if you have ever experienced being waken up all night long – but it actually makes you feel nauseous! By the third night, my husband said “Do whatever you have to do to shut her up – I can’t go to work AGAIN with no sleep”. She spent many years eventually ending up in our bed but he got his sleep and was able to go to work LOL I am sure that method worked for many parents but in the case of my daughter, she didn’t read the book so it didn’t work LOL.
Getting an unbiased, objective, professional opinion in any matter, especially parenting, is always helpful
by on the ball parent coach, on September 22 2010 @ 6:39 am
Well said Catarina!
by on the ball parent coach, on September 22 2010 @ 6:41 am
Thanks Sherryl! So many people echo your words and thoughts when they look back at those “child rearing days”. Hopefully the younger generations are listening and realizing that they have support.
by on the ball parent coach, on September 22 2010 @ 6:44 am
Julia, you make excellent points. So many of my clients read books but don’t always know how to apply the suggestions to their unique settings.
The key word you used is “objective”. Coaches offer objective guidance without passing judgement or “one size fits all” advice.
by on the ball parent coach, on September 22 2010 @ 6:46 am
Julie, You’re right! Just when you think you’ve got this parenting “stuff” down pat, a kid will throw you a curve ball! There are no “cookie cutter” solutions. That’s where coaches shine. Solutions are created for unique children, unique parents, and unique situations.
by Susan Oakes, on September 22 2010 @ 12:32 pm
Keyuri,
As not everyone has parents or others near them to help I can see how your coaching would be so welcomed. In many ways it is uncharted waters especially when circumstances such as divorce occurs and having a coach to work with would give parents peace of mind.
by Laura Sherman, on September 23 2010 @ 7:26 am
Being a parent can be very overwhelming at times. Even for experienced parents! You can turn to all kinds of people for advice and get very confused. It would be better to select one person to be your coach.
However, I really think the most important thing to focus on is love. If you make mistakes, lose your temper, etc. just continue to shower them with love. You can never love a child too much!
by Rob Berman, on September 23 2010 @ 11:37 am
I love the analogy of the oxygen mask. If you do not take care of yourself you cannot properly take care of your kids. Gotta go since my 6 year old wants to play tennis
Rob
by Catherine Lockey, on September 25 2010 @ 3:57 pm
Some day I hope it is mandatory for all divorced parents to see a parenting coach.