The birthday celebration table was full of family and friends when eight year old Caroline blared “you’re so stupid” at her six year old brother.  He had just allowed a double scoop of chocolate ice cream to fall off of his cone and on to the carpet.  Before her mother could render the telltale parenting “apologize right now” glare, Caroline recalled her family doctrine.  The third entry states “The Hughes family will not publically “diss” or embarrass other family members.”  She swiftly turned to her brother and said “I’m sorry.  You’re not stupid.”   Mom breathed a sigh of relief.  The laminated piece of paper framed on their refrigerator door alleviated an escalation of sibling angst and the need for her to be the big bad consequence giver!

A family doctrine can be a vital tool in cultivating family harmony and positive values in kids. 

Not to be confused with a punishable set of rules, Read more… »

The title for this post is inspired by Linked-IN’s “Brain
Insights”, a group about Brain Development and Positive Parenting.  There, a talented group of experts connected to
discuss their strong beliefs regarding the perils of screen time in toddlers
and infants.

“Inspire the Genius” and “It’s Cool to be Smart” are
marketing messages of the Vinci Touch Screen Learning System (recommended age 4
and under).  These messages are designed
to target the emotions of parents who then open wallets and recklessly spend
$479 for the promise of “genius.” 

To Vinci’s credit some of their other products have earned
awards and their website clearly states the following:  “The American
Academy of Pediatrics recommends no TV watching before a child reaches the age
of 2.”  But Vinci left out some very
important sentences. Read more… »

Thanksgiving is the quintessential American holiday that heartily welcomes one and all to engage in at least two ubiquitous human practices; eating good food, and of course, giving thanks. 

If we ponder just those two things, we notice that the typical family eats three times a day and gives thanks… well… hmmm?   How often are we really giving thanks?  Surely it is not just on Thanksgiving Day!  Most would agree that this noble act “should be”, “ought to be” practiced daily.  And I agree!

Parents and children alike have much to gain by conscientiously giving thanks.  Research proves it! Read more… »

Curious parents want to know! 

What’s really going on when my kids are at school?  What do they think of their friends, bullies, class clowns, teachers, lessons, lunch or recess?   More importantly, when I ask my kids about how their day went, how do I get them to say more than “fine” or “good?”

Here is a small sampling of questions to jumpstart meaningful dialogue between parent and child.  Pick one or pick them all.  Just don’t pick them all at once or you’ll raise your kids’ suspicions and make them steer clear of your “interrogation!” Read more… »

“Look!” “Lauren is wearing Ugg boots.” “She thinks she’s hot so let’s teach her a lesson and just ignore her!” (Lauren got the boots as a gift from her grandmother. She was nervous about wearing them because she usually doesn’t wear designer brands.)

“Josh’s dad drives him to school when he lives only a few blocks away and could walk.” “What a lazy loser!” (Josh’s peers don’t know that he has a fragile bone disease and that doctors have asked him to avoid tripping and falling on uneven sidewalks.)

“Those kids get straight A’s.” “They’re such bookworm nerds!” “No wonder they have no real friends.” (The straight A students are funny and personable if only some of their peers would give them a chance.) Read more… »

Marshamallows and Emotional Intelligence

It was 1972.  Walter Mischel was a researcher at Stanford University and he was curious about the human ability to delay gratification.  He gathered four year old children and one by one placed them in a room with a solitary marshmallow.  The children were told that if they could refrain from eating the marshmallow while the researcher left the room (roughly 20 minutes), that they would be given a second marshmallow.  About 30% of the children were able to wait.  They along with the others were tracked for over 30 years and the tales of their lives are very telling.  Let’s take a look. Read more… »

Back talk from kids rears its ugly head to annoy, challenge, and sometimes even embarrass parents.  It doesn’t just come from teenagers, even tiny tots catch on to “sassing” their parents.  Luckily, parents can remedy this surly syndrome.  Let’s jump right with the following tips.  As always, take what works and toss what doesn’t. You’re the parent and you get to decide! Read more… »

This is a repost of a June 2010 article in honor of Father’s Day.

I love to laugh, especially at imaginative and funny TV commercials. However lately, I’ve seen a disturbing trend in the ones that poke fun at men and fathers as if they were congenital dunces!  In fact, this actually worries me!

Okay… I get it! Women, as statistical facts indicate, are the major decision makers in most households so these TV ads are aimed at women not necessarily to denigrate men, but to play on women’s emotions in hopes that they’ll slice the family savings account for products and services.  One has to wonder though, when the subliminal types of messages with their disparaging facial expressions, belittling body language or overt condescending language toward men become part of our everyday thinking.  Are women and girls being beguiled to disvalue boys and men?  I certainly hope not; because eventually these girls and boys will marry, and they must know how to respect and honor each other for their nuptials to have a chance, and to set a high-quality example for their own kids. Read more… »

The lazy hazy days of our kids’ summer vacations are nearly upon us.  While summer is meant to be brimming with fun, the words “lazy” and “hazy” plague many parents.  They complain about “lazy” kids who just want to “chill”, and then they worry about the impact of personal sluggishness and absent academics.  Parents feel “hazy” attempting to manage free-for-all schedules, as well as the chaos of getting in and out of suitcases, vacations, camps, and the “I’m bored” melodrama.

Well I’m not promising a magic potion for “lazy and “hazy”, but these ideas might just help parents to feel a little more in control.   Read more… »

In an effort to pursue several career projects that are near and dear to my heart, I have elected to temporarily reduce the frequency of my blog posts to once monthly.  Please do stay subscribed to receive future posts by email, and know that your feedback in the comment section is welcome and cherished.  My sincere thanks to you for being a reader and supporter.  See you soon.

Warmly,

Keyuri